Eastbayri.com

BARRINGTON — Mark Mainella stood in front of 150 students at Coyle and Cassidy Memorial High School in Taunton, Mass. and told them about his life, about his childhood ... and about his suit.

The lifelong Barrington resident told the high school seniors that he bought his suit — a black sharkskin-style coat and pants — for $75. His shoes, he said, were another 20 bucks.

Mr. Mainella, who has worked as a speaker for four decades, said he has owned plenty of expensive suits in the past, Georgio Armanis and others, that cost thousands. He said he had owned expensive watches, expensive cars and expensive houses while chasing the image he said he had been programmed to desire from an early age.

There was just one problem: None of it made him happy.

The veteran speaker discussed a number of topics during his hour-long presentation, but focused time and again on one over-riding message. “It’s all about the Golden Rule,” he said. “Treat others as you want to be treated.

“There’s nothing wrong with living in a nice home, as long as you’re nice to the homeless. ... you see, I think it’s cool to be nice.”

Mr. Mainella’s message was clear to the students at Coyle and Cassidy, but it hasn’t been heard in Barrington since 1982. That was the last time public school officials welcomed Mr. Mainella into the local high school.

“I once offered to speak to my daughter’s English class at Barrington High School, but they wouldn’t let me,” he said.

“The way to deal with me (for Barrington school officials), is to not deal with me.”

Former Barrington High School Principal John Gray — who started working at the school in 1980 — offered a different reason for Mr. Mainella’s absence from the local school: “You can do something only so many times — we really had to look at some of the assemblies and say ‘OK, let’s start fresh.’”

Mr. Gray, who is currently serving as interim principal at Nayatt School, said the high school opted to bring in different speakers to deal with the different issues over the years. He said the district shifted more of its attention toward substance abuse problems.

He added that the timing could be right for Mr. Mainella’s message to return to Barrington.

Mr. Gray said it has grown more difficult over the years to pull students out of their normal academic routines in order to send them to listen to guest speakers because of the increased emphasis on meeting strict performance standards.

“There are already so many things eating into the academic time for students,” he said.

Current Barrington High School Principal Joe Hurley agreed.

“Teachers get frustrated with the amount of time students are out of the class,” he said. “It gets more difficult as the year progresses. If it’s not meaningful, and it starts getting toward the end of the year where the demands are increased, the teachers get concerned. It’s not just covering curriculum, it’s making sure that the students are understanding the instruction.”

Mr. Mainella said he can’t understand why Barrington can’t make time for his visits — numerous other schools in Rhode Island and across New England have him back year after year.

“They (Barrington officials) do not like me. They are not comfortable with my lack of credentials, how I look, what I say.”

He added that there’s no cost to the schools for his presentations, as he is supported by sponsors.

Uninvited message

Mr. Mainella said he believes some school officials in town don’t appreciate — or agree with — his message.

He said he’s seen the darker side of Barrington; people from the expensive neighborhoods snubbing those from other parts of town. He said he witnessed it firsthand when his father tried to become a member at a local private club but was denied because of his Italian heritage.

“I remember when I bought a house in town and someone came up and said ‘You live in Hampden Ghettos?’” Mr. Mainella recalled. “I couldn’t believe someone would say that.”

The longtime public speaker — he’s offered his presentation thousands of times to hundreds of high schools across the country over the last 35 years — said Barrington officials do not necessarily agree with some of his messages, like the one extolling the virtues of a community college for some students or no college education at all.

“You don’t have to go to college to be nice,” he told the students at Coyle Cassidy. “You don’t have to go to college to have a quality life. You just have to love your life.”

He said too often young people are told they should “go to college and they’ll have it made.” But chasing money will not bring happiness, he said. He also said some of the biggest crooks and con-men in America can be found on Wall Street.

Mr. Mainella incorporates much of his background into his presentation. He tells students about how he grew up in Barrington and went to local schools until he was 12 years. Then he dropped out.

He tells students how he idolized “tough guys” like the images shared in movies like The Godfather. He said he spent a lot of time on the streets and hardened his knuckles along with his wits.

But it was all wrong: “I was a major league screw-up.”

He told the students at Coyle Cassidy that when he was younger he was lost and confused, that he squandered wonderful opportunities and hurt people who he should have loved.

He asked students to be nice to each other, not judge others on the clothes they wear or the cars they drive. He said there was nothing wrong with being a member of the “in crowd” as long as students didn’t look down on those in the “out crowd.”

Mr. Mainella, now in his 60s, told the high school seniors that being cool or acting tough would not bring them happiness.

For Austin Barboza, a 17-year-old senior from Lakeland, Mass., the message struck a nerve.

“I can relate to it,” Austin said. “I’ve seen a lot of it — the violence, the fighting. A lot of people just follow along doing it.”

Austin said he spent a lot of time running with rough crowds in Taunton and has made an effort to get away from that lifestyle. He said he hoped Mr. Mainella’s presentation would stick with him for the long haul.

“I hope it holds up,” he added.

True love of teachers

Mr. Mainella said there was no higher calling than to teach, and added that he believed Barrington schools were filled with many teachers who care greatly about their students. He said his own brother, now deceased, taught for many years at Central High School in Providence.

In almost the same breath, Mr. Mainella said he wants dearly to share his message in Barrington schools, despite some a bitterness that remains after his departure more than 30 years ago.

Barrington needs his message, he said.

“Now more than ever.”

'He still connects with the kids'

Bob Gay is no stranger to Mark Mainella’s presentations.

The Coyle and Cassidy Memorial High School Principal has been inviting Mr. Mainella into classrooms and auditoriums across the region for years.

“He’s outstanding,” said Mr. Gay. “How can you argue with his message — I’m going to treat people better.”

Mr. Gay said he often queries students after the presentations to see whether they appreciated Mr. Mainella’s speech or if they felt otherwise.

“He connects with 98 or 99 percent of the kids. Every time,” said Mr. Gay.

He said he could recall speaking with students who had been considering dropping out of school, but had changed their minds after hearing Mr. Mainella. He said there were also students who had considered suicide, but reached out for help after seeing Mr. Mainella in action.

“He’s slowed down a bit, but he still connects with the kids.”